Tiger Woods

vs.

THE HULK

I thought we all needed to mind our buisness when the first Tiger story came up but fuck hes linked to like 9 ladies now, I googled him when this first took off just too see if the Crash would be the first thing I see rather than his accomplishments in Golf and no it was his website and his awards and stuff. Then 9 ladies show up I google him today his Crash comes right after his name, click images its him and another picture of his wife. The future is brief if this is the only thing on the news

Facts: The Hulk possesses the potential for near-limitless physical strength depending directly on his emotional state, particularly his anger.The Hulk is resistant to most forms of injury or damage, and his powerful legs allow him to leap into lower Earth orbit or across continents. Weakness: Radiation

Facts: Tiger Woods is the greatest golf player in the world, winner of 71 PGA events, 14 Majors record strokes and is paid like no other athlete today. Weakness: Hes human

First Scenario: Battle One- I just imagine Tiger Woods always playing golf all the time so hed probably be on the green. All of a sudden a rumble felt on the ground. Tiger looks to the east and is stunned, the earth is waving towards him! The Hulk has flipped the grass and dirt like an old rug sending Tiger flying. The Hulk jumps somersault in the air meets Tigers face with his hand and sends him deep in the dirt dead on impact.

Second Scenario: Battle Two- This fight isnt fair what-so-ever so im going to have to give Tiger the power of transforming into a tiger. Meaning he also has super strength and lightning fast reflexes. He runs through NYC smelling around nobody touches him because hes a loose tiger and far too fast for anyone to capture. He leaps into a window at Edward Norton and begins tearing flesh. Edward gets angry and flings Tiger into his wall sending him to his bed, Tiger lunges back in the Hulk smacks Tiger downward. Trying to ditto what he had done in Scenario One but Tiger rolls over in the air and goes for the juggulor but the Hulk just rips him off like nothing forcing Tiger to retreat.

 No question if it came down to fighting the Hulk would dominate maybe if those 9 girls where super sexy alien cyborgs but thats it. However Tiger is and will always be the greatest golfer of all time.

HYPEM DOWNLOADS
uno- Kid Cudi- Simple As
dos- Lil Wayne- A Milli (Flying Lotus Remix)
tres- Erykah Badu- Didnt Cha Know (biscope boot)
source: Fork knife music,Pot Holes In My Blog

vs.

Gyarados

I got a couple ways this could pan out but lets lay out the facts first,

The Flash: All incarnations of the Flash can move, think, react at superhuman speeds, vibrate so fast that they can walk through walls, travel through time and can also lend and borrow speed. His weakness pretty much anything he cant get away from.
Gyarados: A Dragon-type pokemon with high attack “stat” Gyarados is infamously known for its fierce temper and and destructive tendencies. Once it has worked itself into a frenzy, it will not calm until everything around it is destroyed. His weakness would be electricity

First Scenario: Battle One- You have to agitate Gyarados, he doesnt go looking for anyone he needs the water surrounding him for attacks so The Flash would have to come in firs- oh hes already there ok nevermind. Now if I was the Flash I would immediately see water and begin to run in circles until I created a cyclone locking in Gyarados. Gyarados would go into a rage and begin to glow, faster and faster the Flash picks up speed FWOOOOOOOOSHHHHHH hyperbeam. The trail the Flash carried would catch on fire incinerating his body the Flash freaks out and dives into the water and Gyarados uses “Surf” to drownd him.

Second Scenario: Battle Two-  This isnt exactly fair I meen Gyarados is a fucking dragon that can shoot beems and control water while the Flash can run fast, and punch fast, and yea fast. So lets say Gyarados was caught off guard by a pokeball. While Gyarados struggles too get out the ball Flash grabs it and runs straight to a nearby power plant and as Gyarados breaks free the Flash tosses the ball into one of those “electric zap like” towers Gyarados would become entangled in the wires and go bat shit crazy sendng a bazillion volts of electricity through his Magikarp ass.

So everything said I give the nod to Gyarados. The Flash is too wack to really be a hero hes only “super” because of his ability of speed but once somthing stops him hes just a squishy regular person. They should really let him control lightning or somthing, but what do I know.

Some more epic battles for your enjoyment:
uno- The Hood Internet- Grizzly Bear vs. Dead Prez
dos- Lil Wayne vs. Sleigh Bells- Fireman On The Ground
tres- Blink 182 vs. Lil Wayne & Birdman vs. Train- Stuntin 182
source: Pigeons and Planes,Too Much Happiness,My Old KYHome

vs.

SWAMP THING

I got a couple ways this could pan out but lets lay out the facts first,

Wolverine is a Muntant primary power is an accelerated heal regen. 3 retractable claws that can cut through any known material. Just too throw it in there he has acute sense of sight,smell, and hearing and becomes an expert of all forms of martial arts and experienced in virtually every fighting style on Earth.
Swamp Thing is made up of vegetable matter, and very difficult to harm. He can easily regrow damaged or severed body parts, and can even transport himself across the globe by leaving his current form and transfering his body to a new form from any sludge that lay around. And too just throw it in there he can control any form of plant life and make it move to his will or accelerate its growth. Yea I know holy shit

First Scenario: Battle One- I see Wolverine coming in first all quick-like just tearing anything that get in his way. But that would just warn The Swamp Thing that somthing was coming and sink down ready for a counter, Wolverine is like jumping through trees and shit like that kind of strong and just smelling around trying too smell him. He gets to the first swamp and screams the challenge. BUT SWAMP IS JUST BEHIND HIM and grabs him with like some super strong vines, Wolverine goes berserk and slashes through them all but they just continue too grow surrounding him closing in further further hes caught up in some vine wrap and squeezed till his head pops off.

Second Scenario: Battle Two- The only way I see Wolverine not coming in first too keep it fair would be wolverine getting allitle help from the X-men but thats kind of not fair either so im just going to say The Swamp Thing forms from a pond somewhere in the city, due too pollution hes definitely weak but hes got alot of trees around to give him allitle bit of hope. Wolverine comes in through some window, 17 somersaults down too a mercedes destroying it (explosion) with super like agility he comes running through the flame and debree super jumps, TREE The Swamp thing sent him flying through another building. He begins too move all the trees around him forming a barrier like shield. Wolverine hops onto the sheild tears through each layer getting to the swamp thing Wolverine tears through his left arm and both legs The Swamp Thing transforms too the sludge stuff in sewers and bursts through the street sending cars and very small children flying Wolverine just begins to shred at The Swamp Thing until it would just eventually form back into the swamp “technically” giving wolverine the win due to forfeit.

Due too how everything went down im going to give the overall win too The Swamp Thing. Sure Wolverine can tear through the Swamp thing like mirale whip but Swamp would never leave the swamp swamp swamp swamp. And yea hes way OP so obvious win.

Some more epic battles for your enjoyment.
uno- Lil Wayne vs. Sleigh Bells- Fireman on the Ground
dos- Marvin Gaye vs. The Pixies- Get It On My Mind
tres- The White Panda- Eminem Front
source: Livingears,Pigeonsandplanes,amfmpm

Todays SUPER EPIC FANTASTIC SUPER BATTLE IS…..

MR. FREEZE

vs.

THE TERMINATOR

First lets just lay out the facts,

Mr. Freeze- is a scientist who must wear a cryogenic suit in order to survive, he has a “cold gun” that freezes its targets solid. The suit grants him superhuman strength and durability.
The Terminator- however is a fucking robot sent from space with unlimited arsenal to his disposal. Hes a slow mover however get him on a vehicle and he starts cracking skulls which brings me to

First Scenario: Battle one- How I see this playing out is of course Mr. Freeze is in his ice lair, being as the Terminator is sent from space he gets sent down usually to a truck stop, cafe, or just a place with an 18 wheeler to blow threw finds a place with some sort of outlaw group, calls out the biggest dude in the place and robot fist dances on his face before stealing his jacket + boots + w/e the dude drove. Then begins his search for  Mr. Freeze. He eventually makes it to Freezes place of bidnass and begins to shoot his trusty shotty off destroying the (ice decor) that makes up 90 percent of the place. Not so fast though Freeze would just do what he does and freeze the bullets in place with the ice gun. However being a robot he made the calculations on his way there The Terminator would just relize his strategy before hand, being that his only soul purpose would be too destroy Freeze. So he does a dive bomb from Freezes roof coming in through a window (Batman style) shattering Freezes helmet on his crazy control panel making it unable for Freeze to live any longer being that he now is exposed to the harsh environment.

Second Scenario: Battle Two-  It would start the same way but Freeze being a scientist would probably have some sort of secrurity being that it IS his secret Freeze base. Hed see the Terminator from miles before he got there so hed begin his (ice- like stuff) defense. The Terminator would come in shooting some crazy helicopter gun but Freeze has put up multiple thick ice walls that he had too shoot through in order to get to him. It takes him a minute but being that it IS A HELICOPTERS GUN he gets through with ease. However he is out of amunition now leaving The Terminator to once again need to rely on his super robot strength. Hes charges at him but just gets blasted with his ice gun. Terminator stands frozen when all of a sudden he is then broken into pieces by a colosoul icycle.

Seeing how each one played out im going to have to give the nod to The Terminator. Mr. Freeze is too mooshy being as his suit is the only thing keeping him alive and The Terminator is a one stop explosion factory. However being the same person this battle is technically impossible.

Some more epic battles for your enjoyment.
uno- Passion Pit vs. T.I.- What You Know About Little Secrets
dos- Lil’ Jon vs. Oceanlab- What Lonley Girls Do
tres- Discovery vs. 50Cent- I Get Money In Osaka
source: earmilk

Brush your teeth after every meal.